My Blog for Dr. Sexon's Classical Foundations of Literature.
Ah, my knee!
Isn't it typical? The comedy sidekick or the inappropriate jester. The one generally so refined gets suddenly possessed by the spirit of Hermes. The old man drops his cane and dances around getting a rise out of everyone but at the end of the skit he falls and breaks his hip. "You all know this, right?" Well, imagine, a perfect night out, playfully visiting and revisiting places of old and new. The future prospective houses with soul. I'm hunting with my friend, checking on all these old houses that have personality and feeling, she is looking to buy one with her fiance and after that we end up going to my old sweet spots. The roof of my old elementary school where, pointing, I said "there, you see that? Right there I played soccer as a child. And there is where I first got beaten up and decided to become a protector of people that couldn't fend for themselves." Moving on to the top floor of the fire escape on the Baxter hotel. "You see the radio towers? And the tree breaking the horizon just to the right? Just slightly more to the right is a tiny square of white and red? That is the truck stop in Belgrade that we used to hang out at! Yes! Bairs!" Do you know that you're getting engaged means that I officially have pressure on myself to do so? Did you know that a mere 5 months away I will be a quarter of a century? Did you know that my "internal clock is ticking" like a metronome now because you're moving into a world of white picket fences 2.5 kids and marriage counseling because he is so repressed that you're certain the .5 is the milk man's? How do we let ourselves move into these vicious mind babbling circles of existential crises? They're not even based in reality! Oh but wait the night is not over! We climb down, with a slight adrenaline rush as a police suburban (really guys? you going to take the criminals to the soccer game too?) passes us without noticing because it's against human psychology to look up. You can be inches above a persons head and so long as you don't attract attention to yourself they will never notice you. I was just above eye level and he was staring down my alley and saw exactly nothing. It's a sad day when "(insert name of city)'s finest" don't pass the psychological street tests of a common trespasser. Or maybe not. My karma got us down to street level where we proceeded to, not being tired enough for bed after our near police encounter, dive into my friends car and tear off down the backstreet like we were in some movie with Matt Daemon saying something dramatic looking through a scope at an FBI official. Ah the one-liners! We decided in our folly that Perkins should be a good idea. Upon entry I saw another friend working whom I hadn't seen in a few months and decided in my elation to sneak up upon. Staying low and moving quickly I slid down the first isle of tables to the end where several from the second row were placed blocking my path. Making a snap decision I leapt up on the booth seat and stepped over to the next booth so come up behind her as she vacuumed facing the front doors. Leaping up to land behind her I heard a distinctive *POP* as my left knee, which I landed on sideways from lack of balance on the squishy booth seat, went out and I collapsed and rolled to lie at her side. Here she immediately proceeded to attempt a swing at me with her vacuum but caught herself just in time. "Nice roll!" A table nearby commented. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Came immediately proceeding. "Karma..." I mumbled as I pulled myself into a fetal position and rocked myself back and forth waiting for the shock to set in. Ah, the rest of the night was relatively unspectacular. I was brought home, I put on my brace, my cat knocked my cane over to crash into my longboard which in turn knocked over my AK-47 and thusly my bayonet embedded itself in my bedside table. I am now going to bed since the 3 ibuprofen I took have kicked in and I can feel the swelling subside. See you all in class tomorrow!
Thank you stream of consciousness...
"Why, what an ass am I..." Thanks for the jokers card Hermes.